Records

March 4th, 2019

How is it that I feel on top of the world one day, and not the next? Easy, every day is an opportunity to climb the mountain. Every day is a chance to be the best. Every day is gift to be squandered or to be utilized to maximum efficiency. When I'm working on beats, sometimes it really just feels like I'm not good enough. I can never seem to finish something, never find quite the right way I meant to express myself when I started. I'm beginning to really believe that the day one starts a beat, is the day one finishes the beat. It's hard to remember what head space you were one, to remember all of those feelings, everything about that day is gone. When you revisit something like this, you end up adding your current mood to it. I guess in that way, these pieces of music are just piles of moods and energies across time, sort of like an emotional battery. Maybe that's why humans like music, presumably because artists pour themselves into the work and listeners extrapolate some sort of condolence or some sort of state of being with someone else, like if the music is happy. I guess I have to remember that these things aren't necessarily products that come flying off a machine, but are literal parts of my soul cobbled together across time. They're, you know, records.